humility

Each activity I have attempted in my life I have excelled. I have done wonderful in school, great in basketball, soccer, and track, accomplished in drawing and painting, and each other category that comes to mind. If at first I was not the best, I would work diligently until I would succeed. This life style made it acutely difficult to accept any degree of failure, no matter how big or small.

Therefore, a pride was embedded within my own talents leading to my most humbling experience to date.

The humiliating sport which became my Alkali’s heal carries the name Cross Country. Imagine running miles and miles on end without actually going anywhere. I was not a terrible runner—at first—actually during sophomore year I was better than average. However, senior year kicked me off my high horse of glory. My times slowed and my mentality melted. I can remember the look in the eyes of my mom trying to comfort me at the end of each failure of a race. But all the shoulder pats and “good jobs” in the world could not improve my damaged self-esteem. For four years my heart and soul were thrown into this sport only to be smashed, broken, and returned. However, even in this mentally grinding state I never considered quitting. Through the pain, the humiliation, and the disappointment in myself the thought of quitting was worse than anything else that could happen.

I can remember crossing the finish line on my last race. I was finished! I could not believe it. Months and months of training and pushing myself were over. The triumph felt after completing such a challenge is more rewarding than anything I could have ever done. The perseverance demanded by cross country is a lesson I will not soon forget.

what if

In response to my last post I would like to say that my family is amazing. Although in my mind I complain about all the questions and advice, I know they do it because they love me.
It is actually a good problem to have. I am very fortunate to have so many who care about me. I am just afraid of letting them down.

What if I can't do very well in college?
What if I don’t find a good career?
What if I want to be an artist who doesn’t make money?
What if I want to become a missionary?

I don’t know what they would do if I did not become something great. I just hope that they will love me, no matter what I am doing with my life.