It seems as if we live in a world where kindness is taken for granted. It is accepted but rarely appreciated, and hardly ever rewarded.
This is why it does not surprise me when people are so rude. Perhaps at one point in their life they had shown kindness to others, but were only given grief and heartache in return. This might have been a cause for their sad state. How depressing is it to go through life and never have a kind or thoughtful word escape your lips? They probably do not care how other people view them. Whether they are known to be sarcastic, rude, or just plain mean. But that really isn't the issue. The issue is how they feel about themselves after putting someone down. I suppose it is a false sense of power. However, I cannot help but wonder that, in the end, they wish for a change.
I try to be kind; there are times I find myself having trouble keeping that always positive smile imprinted on my face. When walking down a crowded hallway people are going in every direction. They are cutting in and out, small groups stopping in the middle of the traffic, and others just trying to get from one end of the hall to the other. Being polite in these situations is a challenge for me. I want to just scream "get out of my way" but I know that would be no use. So I side step and allow people to pass, and will hold open a door. Not once will a thanks spill out of one mouth. It is as if it is expected, not something that a person does just to be kind.
Without gratitude kindness becomes dreary. Sometimes I forget to stop and think that maybe just by one act, a smile or a thank you, could changes a persons day. Just one moment can make all the difference. It is my own choice if I want to make this difference for the better or for the worse. How is it that I am allowed to hold so much power?
As I sit here rereading my thoughts my mind has changed. I wrote the above earlier. And although I support most of what I say, I failed to shine a light on the more positive experiences of kindness. The ones that make being kind not so dreary anymore.
Yesterday I was at a food court with some of my art class friends and as I held the door open there were a few “thank you”s that were sent in my direction. I appreciated them as I wondered if they had always been there. Maybe I just forgot to listen. I went to get Chinese food and I was the only one in line. There was an older Chinese man serving me. It looked as if he had been there a long time. For the minute that he gave me my order I tried everything I could to make him smile. It did not take much; just a few “thank you”s, a smile and a nod. As I was picking up my tray to leave he reached into the jar of fortune cookies and gave me one. Since they were not free I tried to deny the offering, but it was a gift. We did not even speak the same language but each of us impacted the other.
That small spark of appreciation in an older lady’s eyes as you help her with a door and the look of surprise when you find the owner of the dropped money, this is what makes it worth the effort. I believe it is because of these small occurrences in life that some people choose kindness.
I am discovering that it is not about praise, rewards, or pats on the back that we are kind. We are kind to make those around us happier.
1 comment:
One day, some lucky man will be fortunate enough to call you his wife. He will be marrying a woman who is not only brilliant, accomplished, witty, and expressive, but she is also kind, compassionate, and caring.
Loving kindness supersedes all traits and talents, and incorporates the essence of what it means to be "human."
The word "charity" has it roots in Greek and Latin, and as it is used in this text translates "loving kindness to all things," a distinctly different meaning compared to the Anglicized translation which defines its meaning as "generosity."
Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing. Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away. For we know in part, and we prophesy in part. But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away. When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known. And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.
This is one of my favorite prose passages and incorporates wisdom that provides a divine model for our behavior. You have it all. Guard your gifts and talents; treasure your opportunity and don't let anything narrow your vision for yourself or prevent you from actualizing your wonderful potential.
Love,
Uncle Jerry
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